Last week, I was in Florida for a mindset retreat with one of my business mentors. One of the exercises we had to do got me really emotional – it struck a nerve and it hit me.
As I sat in my seat on the third row, overwhelmed with the sudden flood of emotions I suddenly felt, my mentor spotted me and told me to share my breakthrough – in front of everyone.
My first reactions: panic and fear.
My first thoughts: “I am in tears and I look like a mess! If I go up there, I will embarrass myself.”
I then pushed fear out of the way and stood up to the mic anyway.
I was trembling and tears were still falling from my eyes.
I took a deep breathe. Then waited for a moment or two before I spoke.
And once I did…
I felt completely present and in the moment.
I still don’t remember exactly what I said when I was on that mic.
But I do remember the feelings and the state I was in at that moment.
I felt so connected with everyone in the room. My mind was clear (I couldn’t even remember the thoughts running in my head).
I knew there was a camera pointing at me and hundreds of people in the room – but this thought went away immediately. Thoughts about how I looked or how bad I was presenting myself disappeared.
I was BEING me.
I said what needed to be said.
I shared my big WHY.
Why “presence”
What does it mean to be “present” and “in the moment” when it comes to being on-camera?
This is what I was struggling with in the first two years of my training as an actor. It’s pretty hard stuff – well, it was for me.
To be present and in the moment means that:
… you’ve completely surrendered yourself to be YOU in your most raw and authentic form
… you’ve cleared your mind & body, not over-thinking or getting caught up with the details
… you’re not thinking about anything else except for what’s happening in that exact moment
… you’re simply just BEING
… your mind, body, and soul are so aligned that you are completely connected and focused one one thing
When performing a scene from a movie or a tv show, actors can get caught up with what they look like or what they sound like and that takes them OUT of reality of the scene they’re performing.How can you truly be this character if your thoughts are of you and not the character?
When you become present and in the moment, you and that “character” suddenly become one and when that happens, the audience connects with you immediately.
Why it’s so hard to be “present”
When the camera is pointing at you, you can’t help but think about your flaws, your fears, and your worries. Your body and mind go in defense mode and your ego is going to make sure that you stay small and hide from the spotlight. After all, it’s quite scary to put yourself out there, right?
But like all other obstacles we face, courage is needed.
Being in front of the camera involves vulnerability and you can’t have that without courage.
For me, it was extremely difficult to be in the moment. I struggled a lot with this, especially when I was trying to do it on my own. I found myself always thinking and those thoughts running in my head made me look unnatural in front of the camera. I also got caught up on my appearance and how I looked on-camera, which didn’t make things any better (in fact, it can make things worse – your ego can make you doubt yourself and stop you from being seen).
But I kept trying.
I made the commitment to work on this every week by attending my acting class.
I practiced almost everyday, working out my “courage muscles”, strengthening them bit by bit.
I surrounded myself with other people who were trying to do the same and supported and encouraged each other towards our common goal.
I encountered a lot of resistance – some were in the forms of negative self-talk, self-sabotage, and giving up.
My intellectual mind was telling me that I couldn’t do it, that I should just try something else, that I look like a complete fool.
There were criticizing voices running in my head, begging me to stop embarrassing myself already.
But I kept pushing through.
Especially when I realized that this wasn’t about ME at all.
That it was really about the story and the message I was trying to put out there.
It was about my big WHY.
It can and does happen
After I left the mic at the retreat, people started coming up to me, telling me how touched they were from hearing what I had said in the retreat. New conversations and connections were formed.
When I had to record a video testimonial for the event, a few people came up to me and told me that I “looked so natural in front of the camera”.
I smiled and thanked them, and told them that I couldn’t have done it without persistence and effort to pushing through all of the resistance I encountered.
Being present on-camera means you get to connect directly and authentically to your audience.
You won’t get it right away, but with persistence you will.
And when you do, it won’t be as difficult to be present any more.
It will get easier to just BE.
{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }
Bianca – AWESOME, raw and beautiful thought my friend.
Congratulations for stepping forward and being a light for so many people!
Much love – Cena
It was amazing to watch your breakthrough Bianca! Thank you so much for your courage and modeling just how to be present and feel the moment instead of letting worry and fear creep in!
Bianca — This is vulnerability in action and pure inspiration for those of use who are camera shy. I can see this and feel this importance of being present as you are describing it, and you are giving such great encouragement that you’ve done it, that it’s not easy, and to keep pushing through. Push, push, push, that’s what I do every time I turn that video camera on. Pushing myself through the discomfort, and knowing the day will come when it works. I am so grateful for your 30-Day video challenge. Thank you very much.
Fabulous….thank you for sharing Bianca – both here and at the Mindset Retreat. You made a big impact on many….including yourself (and me). You have amazing gifts….
xo, Tina
This is so weird – I was a community stage actor and singer for 15 years before I started my own business and quit doing theater, and I NEVER gave one thought to it through all of my fears around doing video! I guess when I was doing theater, I never think of it as being ME, whereas with the video, there is no one to hide behind. Yikes, I need therapy :o)
Love that you’ve shared this Bianca. I keep finding it easier and easier to be me in my blog, with my clients, in my workshop just by keeping on trying and working through all the resistance. And showing up and doing it again and again. So glad that you’re doing the work to get your gifts with video out in the world!
Bianca,
You said “Being in front of the camera involves vulnerability and you can’t have that without courage.”
Yes! It does. I just, after a year of using my voice, started feeling at ease behind camera. It has been a process.
I appreciate you talking about the nuances behind video, because this has certainly been my experience.
(hugs)
Sarah
This is such a heartfelt post. It is such an important reminder, for business and life, that we make a larger impact on others when we come from a genuine place. Bravo for sharing, with your group and with us!
I struggle with having my picture taken – I’m always uncomfortable, and it shows. Video is a whole other scary place.
But funnily enough, your paragraph about being in the moment made a connection with me. I used to be a competitive ballroom dancer, and I was terrified of going out there and being judged. I learned to turn off that part of my brain, and just focus on the moment. It worked. I haven’t used those muscles in a few years, but I’ll bet I can find them again. :)
How wonderful to know that “stage fright” can happen at any moment – even to the trained among us. Your personal story is not only touching but enlightening. For me, I have no issues standing in front of a meeting or room full of people and speaking. Yet, when it’s just me and the camera…eek! Using what you outlined and turning my on-camera turn as an opportunity to have the courage…perfect.
Hi Bianca-
Thanks for sharing, good to hear you got out there and worked through the fear! I’ve really enjoyed the Courage for the Camera Group, and even though I’m not at all shy, I’ve had a terrible time with photos my whole life. I feel like it has been very helpful to have a group to build confidence and work through our own resistance and self limiting behaviors.
This was such good timing to read as I’ve had a books worth of resistance this week, and needed that boost.
Wow, Bianca. Thank you for sharing this. I feel as though after reading your post I will be able to be more present in my videos instead of so wrapped up in my flaws and trying to be perfect. Thank you, thank you!
Way to go Bianca! I have been working on releasing some unexpressed emotions lately and I definitely think it will help me to be present in the moment. Thanks for your courage and for sharing!
Thank you for sharing your moment in the present xx
I love this post Bianca, thanks so much for sharing your experience with all of us! There is so much to be learned from just being in the present moment.
I’m a longtime film producer and often had to work with not just our talent, but the Director + crew members, etc. on being present. It helps not only with being authentic, but communication and making sure that everyone’s on the same page. :)
Bianca, what a great post. As an actor, I too struggle with being fully present at times. I think we all do. It is really hard to put yourself out there day after day with no promise of reward of any kind. Thank GOD for Meisner class. It was a struggle at first. I used to wear this little necklace that said courage. It helped keep me in action. Now I just try to recognize all the little symptoms that manifest when I’m nervous and identify them as that so I can get on with my work.