This video blog post is the first of a series, titled What’s Holding You Back?, where I talk about some of the common things that hold us back from getting started with online videos. This first video is about rejection.
Rejection has got to be one of the biggest obstacles that we face that prevents us from creating online videos. We begin to imagine the worst case scenarios in our head of how others could reject us and our videos – that people will make fun of us, that nobody will want to watch our videos, etc.
As someone who has experience rejection plenty of times (as actor, I’ve had to deal with it all the time!), I’ve learned a few things along the way:
- It’s not personal. This was difficult to learn and accept, but I shifted my mindset about rejection. It now became about a matter of personal preference, whether I was the right fit for a certain film/tv project – the same goes for your videos. You need to accept the fact that not everyone will like what you post. People will gravitate towards who they feel compelled to gravitate to. Sometimes that may be you and others it may not be.
- Focus your time and energy towards your ideal clients. Instead of worrying about what other people think, channel your energy and efforts to those individuals who want to hear from you. They’re the ones who probably won’t be rejecting you, especially if they see you as the person who can help solve their problems and who also gives them value.
- Stop imagining the worst. In reality, those scenarios that play in your head of how people are rejecting you remain as “what if” scenarios. If we keep thinking about them, the more we fuel our fear to prevent us from ever making any progress.
Rejection may hurt, but it’s not as scary as we make it out to be.
Don’t let it stop you from sharing your story and spreading your message to the world because there are people out there who need you.
Your turn: Have you ever let your fear of rejection stop you from creating online videos? If you have gotten past it, how did you get yourself to push through that fear? Share your experiences, thoughts, tips and other comments below.
Til next time,
{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }
Bianca, you’re really great at this, and every time I read your stuff or watch your videos, you actually almost get me talked into starting to do video. And although this is a turtle step, when I was getting my hair cut and colored last week, it actually went through my mind: “Hmm, I wonder how this new haircut will look on video.” and then I internally freaked out (while not moving my head, since there were scissors involved) and realized it’s YOUR FAULT that thoughts like this are starting to feel normal :o) So, I expect to be one of your success stories, maybe in 2013 :o)
Bianca, great video. You are a natural on camera! The way I push through doing videos, even when my ego tells me I am not good at it, is knowing I have control of the editing process ;-)
Thanks Bianca –
I’ve definitely been held back by rejection, but it can also be a good motivator. i do think there are many times I’ve heard NO which has spurred me onward to try harder just so I could show them I wasn’t wrong! I found my new website name after being turned down by a mfg rep who didn’t understand my product well… http://PrepandServe.com instead of others I had used.
I love the reframe of rejection. It’s not personal. It’s not personal. It’s not personal. Just like when I “reject” something or someone, it’s not personal. It’s simply that I want something else. Nothing wrong with me for wanting something else. Nothing wrong with them for not being that something else.
I have not made any online videos because I think I don’t photograph well and have never been comfortable in front of a camera. It seems my first step would be not rejecting myself before I even look at others rejecting me. Often, we are our own worst critic. I love the warmth you exude in your video and am very intrigued by the concept of video for shy people.
Great video + message Bianca!
The way I’ve pushed through putting myself out there on video is just to do them and publish it. You can always edit the bits that are not so hot…LOL. And if I’ve felt that its really bad, I just do it again until I feel comfortable. That is the only way I know to get pass any fear, just walking right through it and doing whatever it is that you need to do.
If you don’t do anything you will never have the chance to improve. Rejection at times gives me the incentive to try something different and harder. Its a great motivator. At least for me.
Like you said its not personal. Same, when I say “no” to a potential client because she is not ready for me. It’s not personal, it’s simply that I’m looking for a specific person to work with. Its the same with videos, that person who reject you is just not ready for your message, nothing to do with you.
Great post!
If we focus on others instead of ourselves…it solves almost any insecurity. Focusing on helping others with your product or your information takes the focus off you and onto the client…which is where it should be. This was a valuable post with lots of good suggestions. ~Cathy
I love the idea of focusing on your ideal client. Gosh! Isn’t it so true that we focus on the few people who are critical not the many more who like what we have to say. SUCH a good reminder! This can be applied to our whole business. I worry about what I am creating sometimes, because I am afraid some people wont like it! Good points!!
Great! This reminds me of when I was a waitress. If I asked people if they wanted more coffee, dessert, or anything else and they said no “I didn’t take it personally!” Interesting when people say “no” to other things in life I take it personally. This is a great reminder that it isn’t personal. You’ve given me the boost I needed. Thanks.
Great content Bianca! I personally love doing video.. but as I started I faced tons of fear. I decided to feel the fear and do it anyways because I knew that video was the best opportunity for women to connect to my work and what I am really about. My videos help women understand more quickly what it’s like to work with me. Now I am having a blast doing videos… although I will say it still takes a lot of work for me. But I get to showcase my goofiness too which is so much more fun on camera than in writing. I will say that creating a system to shoot my videos has helped a lot in facing my fears.
YES YES YES a Thousand times YES! It sometimes really feels difficult to put ourselves out there on video or for that role, that job, that part, that gig whatever it may be. I’m glad you mentioned the fact that sometimes we may not fit someone elses vision and that isn’t so bad! We shouldn’t stress about it, just move on to the next, and something that may be even more amazing.
Always love your posts! Amazing!
Anastasia
Awesome post Bianca! Doing video is a great way to get your message out there and create raving fans…..however, it is hard to do video when you have that inner critic constantly telling your bad things…and things that simply are not true but they certainly hold you down, back and away from sharing your gifts with the world.
Thanks for sharing and caring and helping us out with just letting all that go….
xo, Tina
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I hope more blogs like this will come into existence.